


Broken Wings

by My_wayward_CASsbutt



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: IDK im really bad at tags, M/M, Oneshot, This isn't my favorite story, i apologize if the quality is bad, i'm gonna stop now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 12:14:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4019356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_wayward_CASsbutt/pseuds/My_wayward_CASsbutt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is depressed and right now the only thing that can make him feel wanted or needed is his lover, Dean Winchester.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Wings

This feeling of abandonment was unlike any other pain.  Not physical.  Net mental. Not emotional. But all of them at once. It felt as if I was only there to serve the needs of others and nobody cared about the likes of me.  I couldn’t expect them to.  I did a lot of good in my time,  but the amount of destruction in my wake of good intentions was too great to be forgiven so quickly.  But they all act like I’m some sort of machine.  Only destruction, and no guilt.  No pain.  They say that they know me, and that they care about me, but if they would just open their eyes and see that they’re not the only ones aching, and they’re not the only ones hurting, maybe, just maybe, they would understand just how it feels to be completely alone.

Although I’m still technically an angel, my wings had long been clipped in a legal matter according to heaven.  Meaning I wasn’t going to be allowed back there anytime soon.  Probably never.  And I did it all for the humanity.  To protect them, and for what?  To get pushed and kicked around?  To be misunderstood?  I am beginning to question my choices to join humanity and leaving my family in heaven, if you could even called them that anymore.

I sat in the middle of my bedroom floor, curled in a ball with my knees to my chest like a child.  I might as well act like one if I’m going to be treated like one.  Lied to.  Treated like the most fragile thing in the universe.  Like letting me near anything could end all of humanity or worse.  Sure, I’ve made mistakes and I’ll own up to that.  I’ve created devastation in heaven and on earth and I’m not going to try and convince anyone that I haven’t, but those are all mistakes that I’ve learned from.  Isn’t that part of being a person?  Being human?  Which I may not be technically, but out of all the angels in the garrison -in heaven- I am the most human of them all.  I would think that I deserve even the smallest amount of credit for that. Apparently not.

Then the tears started to fall.  I have never cried about this matter before, but now I am alone and all I have for company is my own thoughts.  The silent cries turned to sobs.  No ones there to say anything.  Why not let it all out, right here, right now.  It’s not like anyone will care anyways. They never do.

It was then that I was given exactly what I needed when I was at my complete lowest. The strong,  bare arms wrapped around me.  It was gentle, but it also gave me a sense of protection, like I mattered to someone.  Which I haven’t felt in a long time.  I knew these arms.  They were the same arms that cuddled me while I slept.  The same rough hands that brushed across my skin and through my hair during nights when we both just needed to feel something.  Someone.  The same chest I always find myself laying my head on while we watched ‘Twilight zone’ at unreasonably late times during the night. The same arms that belonged to Dean Winchester.

It was nights like these when I believed that even my lover didn’t want anything to do with me.  Or couldn’t deal with my actions any longer.  But I am always wrong.  Sometimes it frustrates me.  Like a toddler that complains about dinner and then comes to enjoy it, but doesn’t want to stop pouting, because that would mean that the parents would win the argument.

Dean wrapped tighter around into an embrace that was everything I needed all at the same time, to let me know that someone was there, and that somebody cared.

“Sshhh, baby, it’s okay, I’m here” Dean hushed me, running his fingers through my hair as I sobbed into the crook of his neck.  

I felt the sudden need to explain myself.  To explain why I’m having an emotional meltdown in the middle of the floor.  I thought about it for a while and then found a qualified sentence to explain everything.

“Nobody cares that I’m broken, Dean”  I whimpered, like a wounded animal, holding onto him like my life depended on every bit of him being as possibly close to me as anything physically can be, as Dean rocked us back and fourth.

“I do” he said rubbing circles in my back as I clung to the plain t-shirt he was wearing.  I felt like such a child, needing this.  But it never bothered Dean.  He was always so willing to comfort me when I needed it, as I did for him.  Which just made my love for him grow even stronger, which I always thought was impossible, but I always came out wrong, thinking I had already loved him more than anyone could ever love a person, but the limits always seemed to grow larger.

He pressed soft kisses into my hair and now had his hand cradling the back of my neck.

“C’mon” he whispered, bringing me to my feet and walking me towards our bed.

I took my trench coat off along with my suit and tie and after he was also down to a just a pair of boxers, we both climbed in. We ended up in a position where we were both facing eachother, arms and legs tangled.  With just him whispering comforting words to me, carding his fingers through my hair, and frequently brushing his lips softly across my forehead.  Like throwing single pieces of paper into a fire, every touch of this man was like a flame, burning my troubles to ashes.  

“I love you, Dean”  I said as I drifted off.

Just before I fell asleep I heard the five words that I swear could stop wars.

**“I love you too, angel”**

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! kudos and comments are appreciated! 
> 
> Go check out my other story called "dream lover"! :)


End file.
